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Learn why a possum with a warrant became the patron saint of acquisition survival.
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Determination & Findings // Unofficial
Contracting Memes Center of Excellence
The requirement changed again. The POP starts tomorrow. Somehow, the contract still awards.
CMCoE is unofficial satire, parody, professional humor, and acquisition-culture commentary. Nothing here represents official policy, procurement direction, or actual legal advice.
Original browser game // Mandatory morale event
The trail is impassable. The contract awards anyway.
Guide PCOpossum from requirement intake to Fort Award. Balance schedule, funding, team health, morale, file health, and coffee while the requirement changes and the FAR gets overhauled beneath the wagon.
Play CMCoE: The Acquisition TrailApproved unofficial taglines
Acquisition sanity, preserved in meme format.
The Machine Must Continue.
We roast because we care.
This is not official guidance. This is what happens when the clause matrix stares back.
The requirement changed again. The POP starts tomorrow. Somehow, the contract still awards.
We do not make policy. We make eye contact with the acquisition void.
The answer is in the solicitation, but spiritually, we understand why you asked.
Mission need statement
A professional coping mechanism disguised as a meme page.
CMCoE is the unofficial home of acquisition memes, contracting culture, mascot lore, procurement satire, and professional-grade bureaucratic coping.
We exist for contracting officers, contract specialists, program managers, attorneys, policy reviewers, fiscal law goblins, CORs, and other mission-adjacent life forms who keep the machine moving while the requirement changes in real time.
Read the Doctrine
Study the sacred principles of source selection pain, EOFY panic, and responsible meme stewardship.
Review doctrineConsult the Mascots
PCOpossum and CCO Raccoon are not acquisition authority, but somehow they understand the requirement better than anyone else.
View dossiersDashboard microcopy
Current operating picture.
Status: Pending Signature
Morale: Deobligated
Funding: Allegedly
Legal: Reviewing
Requirement: Evolving
POP: Imminent
Risk: Accepted by vibes
Acquisition Strategy: We had one
Market Research: Trust but verify
Competition: Full and open, emotionally restricted
Version: FINAL_v9_really_final
Review Cycle: Eternal
Pizza: Cold
Possum: Warranted
Raccoon: Deployed
Clause Matrix: Awake
Legal-ish sufficiency review
This is not official guidance.
This is the unofficial Contracting Memes Center of Excellence for Acquisition Professionals Who Can't Read Good and Who Want a Visually Educational Forum That Both Embraces and Constructively Criticizes Acquisition Systems.
Read the over-lawyered version