01
Use AI to reduce manual touch labor. Please manually answer 51 spreadsheet questions.
A Marine Corps RFI asks industry to automate away touch labor—through a 51-question response spreadsheet.
All-time power ranking // Every published meme
Every Meme Intel meme, ranked
The complete CMCoE ranking, from the cleanest procurement contradiction to the entries that work better as acquisition commentary than as jokes.
The official unofficial order
The full ranking
02
11 regulating valves. Delivery unregulated: 860 days.
DLA asked for 11 regulating valves with delivery 860 days after order.
03
USPS lengthens expected delivery. Lowers service targets. Still misses most targets.
USPS lowered service targets, lengthened some delivery times, and still missed most targets.
04
This notice is public. The RFQ won't be public.
A public VA notice says the coming RFQ will not be publicly posted.
05
CAN'T FIND AN EXCLUDED SUPPLIER / IF YOU MISSPELL ALL THREE NAMES
The supplier check misspelled the first, middle and last name.
06
Fresh produce: $496.8M. Awardee: What Chefs Want.
DLA awarded a $496.8 million fresh-produce IDIQ to a company doing business as What Chefs Want.
07
PANDEMIC WAIVER FOR 2019 / EVEN THE EXCUSES TIME TRAVEL
Pandemic waivers excused compliance failures from before the pandemic.
08
I receive: your resignation. You receive: $6.7B in paid leave.
Deferred resignations generated an estimated $6.7 billion in paid administrative leave.
09
Can't be too far from the SCIF if the SCIF drives to you.
The new secure-work network puts roughly 50 SCIFs on the move.
11
WORK AT THE NATIONAL ARCHIVES / CAN'T FIND THE RECEIPTS
The National Archives could not produce $5.5 million in shipping invoices.
12
Only 9% of $10B reused. Federal surplus listing: no photo. Add a photo: reuse odds go up.
Federal agencies reported more than $10 billion in unneeded property; about 9 percent was reused.
13
PAYMENT BLOCKED TWICE / THIRD TIME'S THE CHARGE
Amtrak’s system rejected the invoice twice. An override paid it anyway.
15
DLA needed sensor head kits. Sole source: Consumer Fuels Inc.
DLA bought sensor head kits from Consumer Fuels.
16
NO AI IN THIS EVALUATION / JUST ARTISANAL COPY AND PASTE
The AI evaluation nobody used had very familiar sentences.
17
221 agencies migrated. Outages? GSA never checked.
GSA finished the cutover before measuring the outages.
18
Space Force: servers are end-user devices. GAO: that's not how scope works.
GAO rejected Space Force's attempt to put servers and networks inside an end-user-device BPA scope.
19
Brand-name Q-Smart 850 laser. Best I can do: no funds.
USAFA specified a brand-name Q-Smart 850 laser before funds were available.
20
TOP SECRET PROGRAM / SO SECRET IT DIDN'T EXIST
The secret program was so secret it did not exist.
21
Deadline extended to September 21. Next amendment: September 14.
A reentry-network deadline was extended to September 21, then the next modification moved it to September 14.
23
Agency: no consulting relationship. Intervenor: here's the purchase order.
DOI's no-consulting inquiry missed the purchase order.
24
Expeditionary laptop refresh. DVD in. Wireless out.
The Navy's expeditionary laptop 'refresh' adds DVD and VGA while removing every wireless connection.
25
EXIM: buys debt screening. Free federal databases: am I a joke?
EXIM paid for debt screening while free federal databases held more complete eligibility data.
26
YO DAWG, YOU NEED APPROVAL / SO WE APPROVED SKIPPING APPROVAL
Informal waivers approved skipping the formal approval process.
27
REPLACEMENT GPS SYSTEM / CALLS ITS EX FOR THE TIME
The replacement GPS control system borrowed timekeeping from its predecessor.
28
Work shut down. Costs kept working: $12.6M.
A shutdown produced a $12.6 million equitable adjustment.
30
SWIFT ORDERED ORBITAL ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE / THE TOW TRUCK REENTERED FIRST
Swift outlasted its would-be orbital tow truck.
31
New commercial router doesn't fit ship rack. Drop-in upgrade exits to custom chassis prototype. COTS, meet custom.
The Navy wants a custom chassis because its new commercial router does not fit the existing ship rack.
32
Copied the agency on the GAO protest. GAO: Where's the agency protest?
GAO says copying the agency on a GAO protest does not make it an agency-level protest.
33
THIS COMPETITION IS UNFAIR / THERE ARE OTHER BIDDERS
The incumbent challenged the government’s decision to hold a competition.
34
FAIRLY CONSIDER ALL QUOTES / THIRD-AWARD TRADEOFF: ONE VENDOR ONLY
RIVER corrective action tried a one-vendor third-award lane.
36
Integrated master schedule. 11,389 unintegrated project schedules.
FAA has 11,389 project schedules and no integrated master schedule for its accelerated ATC modernization.
37
DHS: $10.5B avoided. GAO unmasks: same IT work, other contracts.
DHS's $10.5 billion in avoided IT costs kept the same requirements alive.
38
Deadline extended to September 10. Site visit was September 2.
USACE extended the cage-installation proposal deadline after the mandatory site visit had passed.
40
DTS admin: reimburse the traveler. Inner me: change bank to mine.
A contractor administrator changed travel-reimbursement bank details to route $107,316.82 to himself.
41
Oh, TITAN moved to production? Wake me when it outnumbers prototypes.
TITAN entered production with fewer systems than its prototype fleet.
42
OH, YOU WANT THE SERVICE LEVELS? / THAT'S OUR PREMIUM MANDATORY PACKAGE
Mandatory service levels came with a busy-month escape hatch.
44
FEMA's local disaster area? Apparently, all of Tennessee.
One FEMA buyer made the local disaster area all of Tennessee.
45
I don't always buy telecom networks. But when I do, they orbit Mars.
NASA bought a telecom network that has to orbit Mars.
46
USITC PAPER GUARD ORDERS: UNDER REVIEW / REVIEWER: THE SHREDDER
The guard desk paper orders went for review and met a shredder.
47
GUARANTEED MAXIMUM PRICE / GUARANTEE SOLD SEPARATELY
Four years into construction, the Fed still had no agreed maximum price.
48
Two anesthesia prototypes. Follow-on competition may stay asleep.
An Army anesthesia prototype request says two test units may lead to about 180 without further competition.
49
A-Wing renovation becomes UAS. Next update: A-Wing renovation again.
An A-Wing renovation notice briefly became a UAS sources sought, then changed back.
50
BOP GRIDDLE RECORD: $54M IN REPAIRS / THE SPREADSHEET NEEDS THE REPAIR
The BOP griddle had a $54 million database problem.
51
Urgent breaching frames. Competition: ight imma head out.
US Marshals called sub-$20,000 breaching frames urgent enough for a sole-source waiver.
52
Small-business set-aside. Locate and tag giant manta rays.
NOAA's small-business opportunity is to locate and tag giant manta rays.
53
Base contract: $13.2M. If all options: $742.8M.
A Navy LCS planning-yard contract starts at $13.2 million and reaches $742.8 million if every option is exercised.
54
I RECEIVE: 20,093 STORED ITEMS / YOU RECEIVE: ALL 20,093 BACK LATER
A 20,093-item move had a return ticket.
55
Vessels moved ahead of schedule. $16.8M schedule modification.
Moving ships early triggered a $16.8 million dry-dock schedule modification.
56
Government: we have the data. Also government: can we use it?
The Navy says it has the aircraft fuel-tank data—and questions whether it may use it.
57
LOUISVILLE VA'S HOSPITAL ESTIMATE / TOTAL SOLD SEPARATELY
Louisville hospital cost reporting left nearly $160 million outside the total.
59
MUSE NEEDS COMPETING BIDS / BRING YOUR OWN LOSING BIDDERS
The MUSE bid-rigging scheme supplied its own losing bids.
60
Amendment 5 posted September 13. Required delivery: January 31, 2026.
A September 13 press-brake amendment says required delivery is January 31, 2026.
61
FBI CONTRACT: EXPIRED 23 MONTHS AGO / STILL GETTING CALLED UP FOR DUTY
One FBI order called up an expired procurement vehicle.
62
USAi pricing. Platform fee plus passthrough plus question marks.
USAi's new price is a formula without numbers.
64
THAAD PROPULSION: $6B+ BEFORE ESCALATION / EVEN THE PRICE HAS A BOOSTER
The THAAD propulsion headline excluded escalation.
65
Compete 135 parking spaces. One authorized garage operator.
NTSB posted its justification for 135 parking spaces with one authorized on-site operator.
66
2GIT TAUGHT MAS SUPPLY-CHAIN SECURITY / GSA: GREAT. NOW TRAIN YOUR REPLACEMENT.
2GIT retired after its safeguards spread to MAS.
67
I heard you hate vendor lock-in. So GenAI.mil added ChatGPT and Grok.
GenAI.mil answered vendor lock-in with ChatGPT and Grok.
68
GAO FIXED ITS LABOR-RATE MODIFICATION / THE FIX NEEDED A MODIFICATION
GAO needed a second correction to its own labor-rate paperwork.
69
Small-bomb capability statement. Email filter: you shall not pass.
An Air Force bomb-support market survey warns that the wrong email subject or attachment may be deleted.
70
NNSA SPLITS ATOMS / CONTRACT LINE ITEMS? TOO DIVISIVE.
NNSA construction visibility depended on how the contract was divided.
72
STARLINER'S CREW CERTIFICATION JOURNEY / EVEN THE ROCKET IS CHANGING CAREERS
Starliner certification plans added the next launch vehicle.
74
VA RFQ: FAC 2023-01 / SAME NOTICE: APRIL 2026 CLAUSE
One VA solicitation mixed regulatory vintages.
75
The data-sharing fix was hidden in a meeting invite.
The data-sharing fix was hidden in a meeting invite.
76
VENDOR: GPO'S REFUND IS ON PAY.GOV / GPO: WE HAVE NO ACTIVE ACCOUNT
The claimed vanpool refund lacked a receiving-account match.
77
Shared meeting rooms available. Most agency interviewees: what list?
GSA has a meeting-room sharing list that most sampled agency officials did not know existed.
78
NEW HEADQUARTERS LEASED / CFTC: RENEW THE OLD ONE
CFTC stayed put after a new headquarters had been leased.
79
Follow-on contract type? Cost-plus, cost-reimbursable, fixed-price everywhere.
MDA's follow-on uses cost-plus, cost-reimbursable, and fixed-price incentives.
80
DEVX: WATCHING ROBOT PITCH VIDEOS / MY SCREEN TIME HAS OBLIGATIONS
DevX gave robot-video browsing an acquisition purpose.
81
IHS can fund water construction. Maintenance is someone else's subscription.
Federal water construction assistance leaves a recurring maintenance question.
82
Three non-price factors. All three: oral presentation.
CBP's draft Global Entry RFQ assigns oral presentations to all three non-price factors.
83
CFPB ENDED OFFICE LEASES / HARDWARE: I'M STILL ON SITE
The regional office exit left a hardware-accountability problem.
84
Only known required mouse colony. Is this a sole source?
NIH's sole-source rationale is an established knockout mouse colony.
85
Government estimate: advisory. Solicitation language: controlling.
The staffing floor lived only in the protest.
86
VA MEDIA-DESTRUCTION QUOTE: LOWEST PRICE / TAPE-DESTRUCTION DETAILS NOT INCLUDED
The lower media-destruction quote left tape methods unclear.
89
ARMY VANTAGE REPORTS ONE PERFORMANCE TARGET / ACHIEVES A PERFECT ZERO
Army Vantage reported one target and no achieved target.
90
GSA's plan: FAR 8.4 moves out. Forward my orders to GSAR 538.
GSA proposes a new address for Federal Supply Schedule ordering rules.
91
ARMY MAPS: CONFLICTING SCORECARD NOTES / THE DROPDOWN HAS OVERRULED YOUR OBJECTION
MAPS scorecard notes disagreed; the dropdowns did not.
92
Call contracting before the requirement is final.
The radical reform is calling contracting first.
93
SIMPLIFY THE FAR / TWELVE PROPOSED RULES LATER
FAR simplification arrived in proposed installments.
95
VA'S SMALL BUSINESS EVENT HAS AMENDMENTS / THE INVITATION IS DOING COSTUME CHANGES
The VA event invitation changed industry classifications to reach more readers.
97
Separate awards for the modules. Georgia Tech gets every interface.
The Army separated the launcher awards, then centralized the interfaces.
98
GSA SOLD THE BUILDING / CONGRESS STILL HOLDS THE WALLET
Property-sale proceeds still needed the appropriation key.
99
We own the source code. OEM verified we can build it.
The Air Force brought rescue-helicopter software in-house, with an OEM witness.
101
VA'S 2025 TERMINATION LIST / OPTION YEARS: WE WEREN'T EVEN EXERCISED
Some entries on VA termination reporting had a different contract status.
102
Section 889 covers corporate relatives. Agencies: separate family trees.
GAO wants agencies to compare notes on prohibited suppliers' corporate relatives.
103
VA HEALTHCARE QUOTES NEED SECOND OPINIONS / FROM ACCOUNTANTS
Affiliate healthcare prices received an accounting second opinion.
104
Amendment 0002 addresses questions. Not on SF 30: system issues.
A Navy mechanic-labor notice says Amendment 0002 is not on SF 30 due to system issues.
105
FAR'S INDIRECT COST PROPOSAL DIET / 1,353,807 ANNUAL HOURS: THE LIGHT VERSION
The lighter indirect-cost collection still measured over a million hours.
106
$20M experience gate: pass. Past performance gate: low confidence.
One experience gate was not enough.
107
WE CITED THE COATING SPEC / NAVY: SHOW SHIPBOARD APPLICATION
The coating specification did not supply the shipboard example.
108
The weapon arrived first.
The weapon can travel 300 nautical miles. The price still needs definitization.
109
FAA SPECTRUM THREAT DETECTION / CALL US WHEN IT HAPPENS
Spectrum investigations often began after an incident report.
111
SIOP: 50 MORE YEARS / REQUIREMENTS NEED THEIR OWN LIFE-EXTENSION PROGRAM
A half-century shipyard plan needs requirements that age well.
113
RCTA SURVEILLANCE COURSE ACCEPTANCE / WHO'S WATCHING THE WATCHERS' REPORT CARD?
The surveillance course came with its own surveillance sheet.
115
CVN 79 HAS PRELIMINARY ACCEPTANCE / NAVY SWIPED RIGHT, NOT MARRIED YET
Kennedy preliminary acceptance was not formal delivery.
117
NAVY: DEFEND IRANIAN FMS CLAIMS / PROCUREMENT: LET'S PRICE THE SEQUELS
Iranian FMS claims support came with option pricing.
119
BRIC APPLICATION SELECTED / YOU'VE UNLOCKED MORE REVIEW
BRIC selection was a step toward an award, not the award.
121
Janus trade offer: verified milestones for the next funding increment.
The Army proposes a trade.
123
CUT UNIQUE ACCOUNTING RULES / NO NEW COMPLIANCE FRAMEWORK
The industrial-base reform memo told the new framework not to exist.
